Addiction doesn't take a holiday break

Addiction doesn't take a holiday break

Why getting help for a loved one really matters.

"It just wouldn't be Christmas without my wife.”

"We'll get through the holidays first ... it's not so bad.”

"What will the in-laws think when he's not there for Hanukkah?"

"She can't miss work and all of the holiday functions; that would not send a good message."

This time of year, relatives of an using addict or drinking alcoholic are accustomed to hearing all kinds of objections to sending a family member to treatment during the holidays.
It is amazing how many people believe that asking a family member to go to treatment during the holidays is somehow wrong or cruel or too disruptive.

What they don't recognize is that addiction is a family disease. Just like the addicted individual, the family system is sick. Family members become enmeshed and unable to separate right from wrong or truth from lie. And their own denial and codependency issues can become even more pronounced during the holidays when there are so many perceived reasons not to take action.
Families who are at the eye of the storm--living in the midst of active addiction--have a very difficult time knowing what to do. Too often, they resort to enabling behaviors that result in keeping everyone sick.

There is no doubt that many families are experiencing additional stress and strain in these tough economic times. And the coming holidays can compound this stress. But by not confronting the active addiction, the family only adds to its burdens.

As with the family, the holiday season can give a person with addiction extra ammunition for avoiding treatment. Some of the more common objections are:

"My family needs me and expects me to be here for the holidays.”

 "There are too many coworkers on vacation; I couldn't possibly leave the office now.”

"I'm going to wait until after the holidays and get help then.”

Especially during the holidays, other factors come into play that can compound problems associated with substance abuse and addiction. For many, the season is one of great joy and happiness. For others, the holidays bring high stress or feelings of loss or depression. Sometimes family gatherings can exacerbate difficult or unhealthy relationships and cause additional anxiety. Intense end-of-the-year workplace demands combined with must-show holiday parties can place additional pressure to drink or use. There are also many opportunities to celebrate in excess, which can create tremendous challenges for those with addiction and trying to hold it together. On top of all this, the family struggles valiantly to present the image that all is well.

Treatment matters as much during the holiday season as it does throughout the year.

Despite the research, stubborn myths around addiction prevail and are a major factor in keeping people sick by promoting the belief that this is a disease of choice or will.

Five of the most common myths about addiction:

   1. Addicts and alcoholics need to reach rock bottom before they can accept help.
   2. Addiction is a willpower problem. People can stop, if they put their mind to it.
   3. People don't need treatment. They can stop using if they are really motivated.
   4. Treatment just doesn't work.
   5. People must want treatment in order for it to be effective.

Every day we are faced with the challenge of debunking these myths and carrying the message that addiction is a chronic illness that can and must be treated.

During the holiday season, we too often encounter yet another dangerous myth: that it is wrong or inappropriate or cruel to go to treatment during the holiday season. Like the other addiction myths, this simply isn't true.

In fact, the holidays may be the best time of the year for people to get healthy and reclaim their lives from addiction.

Homes that play host to active addiction are not filled with joy and happiness during the holidays; they are decked with dysfunction, stress, fear, and shame.

For families besieged by addiction, the greatest gift they could give their addicted loved one--and themselves--is the gift of recovery.

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